Katherine and Charlotte both had situations in which they had said no to a request and that no was not accepted. The situations were quite different and their positions vis-a-vis the person asking are also quite different. I went through some basic principles and we talked around some of the specific issues in relation to those.
Some of the key things:
- know your values around both the request and how you will communicate
- look for the points of alignment to reduce the adversarial potential
- assess the real risks
- where do you have wiggle room and what is a firm no
We got into some of the nuance around explaining and giving reasons, especially where this related to values around privacy and trust.
Then we turned to Paula’s situation which was more about just feeling disconnected from her research having taught in the summer and just returned from vacation. We talked a bit about how tidying your office isn’t necessarily procrastination. I gave some tips for transitioning back into your work. And then we got into some of the related issues around having the autumn semester as your writing/research time (vs summer) and how that fits differently with family. There is also a puppy coming and some discussion about teens. A key point here is that it is worth thinking about whether certain roles or needs really are competing. Does being a mom always compete with being an academic. Is there a way to meet your need to do some more work after your teen gets home from school and be a good mom to your teen?
Question for Studio Call — Saying No discussion in the Forum related to the Grace Judson office hours conversation
A good blog post by an academic woman about “saying no” a related forum discussion with an external link